yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
