she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
