the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
as a side note pls kill me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize