girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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