i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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