we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize