I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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