well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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