i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My life is pants optional.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
