im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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