just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
