According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize