I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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