i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize