do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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