you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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