Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
