looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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