i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My vagina is officially offended.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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