The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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