I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
