Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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