Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
