Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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