You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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