you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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