the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
ttyl tear gas
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
