dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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