I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
