we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
