I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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