in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
