just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
