i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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