new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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