whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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