Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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