I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
