after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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