well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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