Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize