She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
