I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
