Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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