I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
