That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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