I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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