Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
