Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
