He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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