just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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