i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
