So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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