chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
