So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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