i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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