There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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