Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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