Barsexuality is the new black.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize